Saturday, November 22, 2014

Four Rooms

I'm a little distraught over something I read on Instagram - I don't know if this is a fact or just some nasty rumor buzzing around, so if this isn't true please feel free to coax me down from the ledge. I've read that after releasing The Hateful Eight in the Summer of 2015 - next year - Quentin Tarantino plans on retiring!! NOOOO!!! IT CAN'T BE SO!!!!! Now that I'm finally loving and appreciating his movies, the man is going to up and just going to disappear into retirement where he'll probably overdose on drugs and foot fetish-tailored sex acts?! Say it isn't so!!! After reading this news I have been doing something similar to a mini mourning. I've been listening to the soundtracks to Django UnchainedPulp Fiction, and Death Proof on a loop for several days now; and have been wanting to get my hands on his movies that I haven't yet seen. And lucky for me, I found this one on Netflix!

Tim Roth stars in this movie as the brand new bellboy to the swanky, but aged, Hotel Mon Signor where he is given some very strict lessons to adhere by while working his first overnight shift alone on New Years Eve. The former bellboy (Marc Lawrence), who is in his elder years and ready to spend his twilight years not waiting on people, is more than happy to twist the new bellboy's ear and give him a very good piece of advice: avoid night clerks, kids, hookers, and married arguments. And with that, the old man leaves! And our young bellhop is left to learn the ropes. And from here the movie divides up and we are given 4 different stories to watch and 4 different instances of what the bellboy is subjected to on his first night.

Ready for your first night? Good luck Ted!

The Missing Ingredient: In our first story, the bellboy is helping several ladies check into their room. But this is no sorority house reunion weekend for these ladies, they're witches! And they're back to right a horrible wrong that was done to their little coven last year. While their Goddess (Amanda DeCadenet) had been staying in the same room last year when a curse befell her and the Goddess was turned to stone! And so Jezebel (Sammi Davis), Athena (Valeria Golino), Elspeth (Madonna), Raven (Lili Taylor), and Eva (Ione Skye) have come together with the fixings for a spell that will bring their Goddess out of the curse...except that Eva forgot her ingredient to the brew. But maybe she can convince the bellboy to help her find some more...

Bubble, bubble, toil, and ...semen? 

The Wrong Man: Once the bellboy is called away from his "duties" with the witches, he is called to another room to bring ice. But upon entering the room he finds himself face to face with a man with a gun! Yikes! The gun wielding man (David Proval) has his wife Angela (Jennifer Beals) tied to a chair and gagged - he is convinced that the terrified bellboy is the man that his wife has been seeing behind his back! But what the bellboy thinks is a deadly accusation could really be a twisted sexual game.

Talk about a bad time to be named Theodore...

The Misbehavers: After escaping the terrifying clutches of Angela and her delusional husband, the bellboy is called to the room of a smolderingly sexy Spanish man (Antonio Banderas). This smoldering man and his wife (Tamlyn Tomita) have decided that instead of dragging along their young children to dinner to celebrate the New Year, they want to celebrate on their own and crank up the heat! But leaving their daughter Sarah (Lana McKissack) and son Juancho (Danny Verduzco) alone is completely out of the question, they're too young! So the smoldering Spaniard offers the bellboy $500 to check in on the kids every half hour, and they are told to call the front desk the minute they need anything. And these tiny terrors plan on abusing their power.

"Did you kids have a good time tonight?" 

The Man From Hollywood: Once rid of the itty bitty heathen children, the bellboy is finished! He's had enough! This job has been nothing but a pain in his butt the entire night and he is through! But then one more buzz comes across the switchboard...and its from the Penthouse. Famed Hollywood director Chester Rush is the current guest in the Penthouse, alongside several of his Hollywood bigwig friends and the bellboy has to finish this one last room before he takes off screaming into the night. But from the moment he enters with a cart full of room service, he is going to be forced to make a decision that could either peg him as morally repugnant...or a very rich man.

Does the bellboy have what it takes to make some fast cash? 

While this movie, overall, is a Quentin Tarantino piece it is also made up of 4 stories that are written and directed by 4 separate people. That's right! So if you've seen this movie and were baffled at why this movie didn't feel exceedingly Tarantino-esque, there is your answer! This movie is the collaborative efforts of Allison Anders, Alexandre Rockwell, Robert Rodriguez, and Quentin Tarantino - and it's so much fun! Zany sexual antics, danger and violence, uproarious comedy, stinging wit...sheer brilliance! I highly recommend this movie for fans of Tarantino's work, and for those who aren't ready to see this man's brilliant movie-making talent fade away from the Hollywood scene.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Gone in 60 Seconds

Maindrian Pace (H.B. 'Tony' Halicki) is a very busy man. By day he operates an auto garage that specializes in auto insurance investigation and theft recovery, of which Pace is the best in the business. But Pace's passion for working with cars doesn't end there. When Pace and his team aren't detailing and splicing together cars that are to be reunited with their rightful owners, they are operating as a car theft ring. And Pace is their Kingpin. Contracted by private buyers looking to get their hands on rare and/or expensive cars, Pace and his team are experts at making their clients' dreams of driving vintage Bentleys or one-of-a-kind Mustangs come true. And as is the case for Pace's newest client, he's got one monster of an order to fill next!

Just a day in the life!

A South African drug lord is Pace's newest client and he's literally asking for the moon. The man wants Pace to fill his order of 48 rare and high-priced cars that will all be stored at a warehouse at the local harbor before being loaded onto a ship. Pace will receive $400,000 for his services but there is a catch - this job has to be completed by Friday. Less than a week! But Pace doesn't bat an eye when he accepts the job...which turns out to be much more trouble than he anticipated. Between accidental slip ups with some of the cars he works with during his insurance investigator status, and his team trying to pick up cars that are already occupied by their drivers - is he going to get this job finished? If he's able to muddle through Cadillacs overflowing with heroin and securing his own white whale - a special yellow Mustang he's nicknamed Eleanor - then nothing is going to stop him!

She may arrive a little dented, but Pace is going to get Eleanor to that warehouse!

I won't lie, the first time I watched this movie I couldn't really get into it. I also need to confess that the first time I watched this movie was at work and I was only able to watch small snippets of it while trying to be productive and I couldn't really turn up the volume so that was my fault. But this time!! There were a couple confusing moments at the beginning where the audio we were hearing didn't make sense with the scenes being showed to us, or we didn't see the people who were talking and it was hard to understand the context. But that literally lasted maybe a couple of minutes. The biggest and coolest thing about this entire movie though is the car chases! If you're a classic car nut you'll drool over this movie, and if you're like me and know nothing about cars but love a great chase scene - this movie is BRIMMING with good ones! One of my favorites involves a very skilled tow truck driver, but the crowning achievement of this movie is the 40 minute car chase that this movie ENDS WITH!! I don't think it gets any better than that. I tip my hat to writer, producer, director, and star of this movie H.B. Halicki - you, sir, earned your title of King of Crash!

THURSDAY NIGHT IS THE BEST NIGHT TO TUNE IN TO REAL PUNK RADIO!! Home to the Thursday Night Wrecking Pit, Real Punk Radio is your Thursday night destination for the best in Psychobilly radio programming. Starting tonight at 6pm PT Gone Mental will be kicking off the evening, and then at 7pm PT Zorch Radio takes over the reigns and rides out the evening til 10pm with the best in Psychotronic rock n' roll. Make sure to tune in to the Thursday Night Wrecking Pit tonight, where I will be talking about my experience with Gone in 60 Seconds during the Trash-Tastic Minute on Zorch Radio. So make sure to tune in to Real Punk Radio tonight!

Radio done right every Thursday night!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

I Don't Know How She Does It

Want to know something hilarious? The first time I ever saw the trailer for this movie I instantly thought of my older sister Brook! Aside from my post ages ago on Drop Dead Fred, I don't think I've mentioned her too much so allow me to paint a picture. Brook is 14 years older than me - no joke - and has been married for nearly 20 years to a real life cowboy/cattle rancher named Keith. Together they own a beautiful ranch in the country not too far from my own home where she and her Ranch Boss husband raise cows, chickens, and my three goofball nephews. Brook is a bit of a marvel in my family because she literally NEVER stops moving! The minute the sun is up she is off doing something - working out, shopping, running errands; but usually organizing events for either her community, church, or her friends and family. Not to mention the fact that she also flies across the country all the time for work too. She's always busy! And whenever Brook gets brought up in conversation, everyone always says "Brook is so amazing, she just does so much!" Well sis, either take this movie as a warning or a zany interpretation of what happens when everything you try to do finally catches up with you! But in all seriousness, aside from the fact that she is super busy, Brook is amazingly selfless with her time and energy and I truly admire how much she manages to accomplish in a single day. Way to go Brook, you're a real life Flash Gordon!

Whether it's raising 3 boys, organizing a vacation bible school program for 
500 kids, or rowing a dinghy through a lagoon - Brook can handle it all and still
blind you with an immaculate smile!

From the outside looking in, Kate can do it all. Working as a fund manager who has to travel most of the time for work, Kate (Sarah Jessica Parker) is always busy and always does what she can to keep her life together. When she's not busy working like crazy at her office in Boston, Kate is travelling across the country which leaves her two young children to be raised by her husband Richard (Greg Kinnear) and their aloof nanny Paula (Jessica Szohr). And when back home in Boston, when she's not working crazy long days Kate is organizing play dates for her kids, cleaning the house, composing endless to-do lists, and making feeble attempts at being romantic with her husband. Her life is a whirlwind! And it's about to get so much crazier.

Meet the Reddy family! Happy, functioning...sane? 

Kate is delighted to learn in a meeting at work that the New York branch of the bank she works for loved one of the reports she pulled together and has asked her to help head one of their upcoming big projects! Yay! This is a major leg up for her career, and now she gets to travel to New York to meet the man she'll be partnering with. But this also means she's going to be spending more time travelling. Which isn't totally convenient because her husband Richard has just branched out and started his own architecture firm. So between these two busy parents and their lazy nanny, this team is going to have to summon even more energy to make the Reddy family schedule run on a semi-even keel.

When work calls, Kate must answer!

Beginning her project in New York, Kate and her partner Jack Ablehammer (Pierce Brosnan) dive right into work. And from this point on, life becomes a mega rat race. Between updating files and sending continuous emails back and forth to New York, Kate is also busy trying to raise her kids and still show her husband that she's invested in their relationship. But it's getting harder. Her daughter Emily (Emma Rayne Lyle) is not pleased with the fact that her mom is barely in her life and has no problem brushing off Kate's attempts at being close, and Kate's toddler Ben (Julius Goldberg) is thankfully still hopelessly in love with his mom. But he's two and growing up, which means that Kate isn't home for a whole lot of firsts - like his first haircut. And yet she continues to spread herself thin between New York and Boston.Kate's relationship with Richard is straining beyond reason, her daughter hates her, and Kate is missing making important memories with her family. And on top of that, it looks like her relationship with her co-worker Jack might be getting a touch inappropriate. Can Kate keep up this crazy lifestyle? Or will something have to change?

For how long is Kate going to be able to bring in the bacon and bake the pies too? 

This movie was a pretty cute semi-romantic comedy. But as usual, I've got my qualms with Sarah Jessica Parker. Aside from the fact that she has hardcore old lady hands, I will forever see her as her character Carrie Bradshaw from the show Sex and the City! But if I shove those prejudices aside, I did like this movie. I loved the silly zany comedy that always centers around modern career women trying to raise kids and handle things like bake sales, lice, and throwing successful birthday parties. And I do have to give credit to the writers for not making us hate Pierce Brosnan's character despite the fact that he tried hitting on a married woman! I still liked him at the end of the movie, the outcome is totally unrealistic but I'm still happy that I'm not walking away thinking "Shame on that devilishly handsome man!". If you're a fan of busybody comedies involving parents desperately trying to juggle raising kids while working then I do recommend this movie for you. You'll smile and laugh and the ending will warm your heart.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Bad Milo!

This movie has been lurking on the periphery of my Netflix queue for a while now, and I had intended to let it rest there a little longer because I've been wanting some time to expand my movie watching genres. As much as I love horror, after my ABCs of Horror marathon last month I've needed to feast my eyes on something with a slightly different texture. And yet here I am, drawn like a moth to the flame! And for as long as this movie has been sitting in my queue, I should have watched it ages ago! This movie is brilliant and I am head over heels in love!

Duncan (Ken Marino) leads a pretty stress-filled life. His wife Sarah (Gillian Jacobs) is desperately wanting to start having children but Duncan isn't sure he's ready for that kind of commitment. Apparently committing to marriage isn't quite as intense as committing to having kids? On top of his strained relationship with his wife, Duncan's mother (Mary Kay Place) is divorced from his absentee father and remarried to a man Duncan's own age. This being weird enough, Duncan is also submitted to having to listen to his mother's young husband talk explicitly about their sex life. Oh joy. And then there's work. Duncan works as an account for a large company, which is fine. But his sleazy boss (Patrick Warburton) has decided to play Duncan in charge of firing people for the next few weeks. See? Lots of stress in Duncan's life. And it's taking a major toll on his health.

Careful Duncan, don't blow a gasket in there!

Aside from a stressful new project at work, dealing with an awkward relationship with his mother, and being badgered by his wife into having a family - Duncan's health is also suffering. Several times a day, Duncan finds himself pained with horrible stomach cramps and usually ends up in the bathroom where he suffers from elongated bouts of diarrhea. It's finally gotten to the point where he can spend over an hour in the bathroom at one time and Sarah is sick of this little problem so they head to the doctor. And that is when they discover that there is definitely something inside of Duncan's intestines that could be causing the issue. His doctor says that this little blockage could be a symptom of all the stress Duncan has been under lately and he is suggested to try therapy. Which Duncan does. But it's definitely not what he was hoping for.

You can get a colonoscopy or you could see a shrink, those are your options.

Arriving at his first session Duncan is greeted by uber-hippie therapist Dr. Yeager (Toby Huss) who believes that the best way to get the roots of Duncan's stress exposed is to use hypnosis. Duncan scoffs - this is bananas! Not only is he not crazy, but he knows why he's stressed! Some fruit loop with chime-y music and white pants doesn't need hypnosis to figure that out! But because he's a people pleaser, Duncan agrees and it doesn't take long before Dr. Yeager lures him into a trance. While chatting about his relationships with his family, Duncan starts to howl in pain and Dr. Yeager notices a frighteningly large bulge growing in the seat of Duncan's he pooping himself? But then there's a ripping sound...and a creature appears!

That came out of Duncan's butt?! 

Springing free from Duncan's body comes a little wormy looking man with large alien eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth! Duncan and Dr. Yeager both scream in terror - what is this horrible little thing?! But before they can take another look it runs and breaks through one of the windows and disappears into the night. Duncan is still stunned and terrified - how did this big-headed creature fit inside his butt? And yes, how this thing fits inside his butt is an important question, but what's more important is knowing what this little butt-beast is. And according to Dr. Yeager, it's a perfectly normal thing! Kind of. This little creature that lives inside Duncan's intestines bursts out whenever Duncan gets super stressed, he just hasn't noticed because the little creature pops out every time he passes out on the toilet. And once released, the beast attacks whatever is causing Duncan stress...which is why some of his coworkers have been found dead of an unidentified animal attack... But what can Duncan do? He can't kill this little creature - whom he names Milo - because it's a part of him...but it's killing people. What is Duncan to do?

He may not be perfect...but Milo is part of Duncan!

WOW!!! This is the kind of horror that I live for! Overly ridiculous and filled with hilarious comedy, this gory horror movie is a gem! Instantly making me think of Bride of Re-Animator and Dead Alive mixed with the dirty humor similar to Bad Biology, there are also some little cutsie moments much like Gremlins - there's a lot going on in this movie! If you're a fan of dark comedies mixed with hefty gore, I definitely recommend this movie. It's hilarious, it's dirty, and it's totally weird! If you've been "hmmm"-ing over this movie for a while, your wait ends here. Turn it on and get ready for stupid-funny laughs over some literal toilet humor.

If you're still not totally convinced, here's the trailer for Bad Milo!
Prepare for laughs and suspense. 

Monday, November 17, 2014


Former air force pilot Ted Striker (Robert Hays) has got to win the love of his life back. After his relationship with flight attendant Elaine (Julie Hagerty) goes sour, Ted realizes that he only loves Elaine and he needs her in his life. After their first disco dance in that rough and tumble bar, to their romantic romps spent on the beach - how can Ted live without those precious moments? But Elaine is heartbroken, she doesn't want to give Ted another chance. He had his shot and he blew it! Not wanting to get wrapped up any further in this mess, Elaine leaves for work and busies herself with getting passengers on her current flight comfortable and ready for take off. And Ted is right behind her, not thinking twice he boards the flight too hoping to win her back mid-flight!

Elaine might have left him because of Ted's drinking problem...

The plane takes off and descends into the sky. After his traumatic experience flying in "the war", Ted is nervous and anxious but he's able to relax the minute he starts making conversation with other passengers about why he boarded the plane. And being bored to death over his story, many of these passengers aren't too happy with being subjected to his tales. Elaine eventually catches sight of Ted boring her passengers to death with their love story and she's horrified that he's followed her! But there isn't much she can do now because she now has a much bigger problem to deal with.

You'll have the fish? Are you sure you want to do that? 

After the in-flight dinner is served, many of the passengers start throwing up and complaining of violent stomach aches. It turns out that the fish was bad, and people are falling ill to it! Oh no! The flight attendants all rush around trying to help everyone as best they can, but then the absolute worst happens - the pilot and co-pilot BOTH had the fish for dinner too! And now they're both unconscious from the sickness and neither of them can fly the plane! Luckily, they have an Auto-Pilot - literally - that they're able to deploy and keep the plane cruising at a steady pace. But what now? Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen) takes charge and takes it upon himself to not only help the sick people, but to also find someone who is able to land this plane safely. And Ted Striker is just the man everyone needs to save the day...if he can keep his nerve!

Thank god they're at least using their instruments!

Ridiculously hilarious, this was a movie I first saw in high school and I became obsessed! It's a been quite a few years since I've seen this movie and I was worried that the spoofy, over-the-top humor was going to be lost on me now...which wasn't the case at all! The word play, sight gags, and random add-ins had me in stitches! Fans of late 70's comedy, satire, and spoof movies will love this movie! I haven't seen the sequel but I've heard it's not nearly as good, but if you're a fan of Airplane I also recommend checking out Kentucky Fried Movie which was released by the same comedic geniuses. Overall, if you're looking for a stupid-funny comedy you've found the right one!

This is one of my favorite scenes, Johnny is hilarious!

Sunday, November 16, 2014


I first watched this movie back in late September while I was dog sitting. Why I haven't blogged about it since then - aside from my month-long dedication to My ABCs of Horror - is honestly beyond me. I'm always hankering for good westerns, and since September I have watched this movie about 3 or 4 times. So why now? Because I can't stop watching Westerns! It all started this past Friday when I was rolling coins while watching this movie...then I had to watch Lawless right afterwards. After Lawless came Django Unchained, then Dead in Tombstone, and now I've just finished Jeremiah Johnson! And I'm nowhere near finished! Up next on the docket I've got Open Range and Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid on my list.. I haven't had enough! So before I go any further, I need to tell you about the movie that began this entire stint: Appaloosa.

Some people have talents when it comes to making music playlists,
my talents lie in piecing together watch-lists!

Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen) have been called to the small New Mexico town of Appaloosa, which desperately needs their help. Working as hired keepers of the peace, Virgil and Everett are called to restore order and take care of a nasty nuisance that has been plaguing this peaceful desert town. Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) and his sleazy band of men have completely taken over the town - they take goods from the store and never pay, have their own run of the saloons and the girls who work in them, the townspeople run frightened into their homes when they see these men hit the streets. But the final straw was when the town sheriff went to Bragg's homestead to arrest him for these heinous acts, the man never came back. And the only thing that can be assumed is that Bragg shot and buried the sheriff in cold blood.

Everett and Virgil have a tough job ahead of them.

Hired on by the local big wig Phil Olson (Timothy Spall), Virgil and Everett make it clear that in order to help Appaloosa they need to set some serious new laws. No one carries firearms within the city limits, they have the right to arrest anyone - no matter who they are connected to in the town, and they will bring Bragg to justice. And immediately, Bragg is not too happy about these new developments. But it becomes clear that these two peacekeepers are taking their job seriously when they gun down 3 men in the saloon who refuse to comply with the new laws. But instead of facing them like a real man, Bragg hides outside of town on him homestead. Finding a way to get him behind bars for his transgressions would have proved tough...but a ranch hand of Bragg's comes forward and says that he will testify that Bragg did indeed shoot down the sheriff. This hooligan's goose is as good as cooked! Until Mrs. French comes to town.

Meet Mrs. Allie French.

Eating breakfast one morning, Everett and Virgil find themselves in the company of newcomer Allie French (Renee Zellweger). A skilled organ and piano player, Allie has come to Appaloosa looking to start over again...and Virgil finds himself completely smitten by her. Everett has no objections to them courting...until Virgil starts focusing more on Allie than on their job. Everett does what he can to keep the town's affairs in order, but Bragg has some affairs of his own that he plans on seeing through. After finally being arrested and taken to trial, Bragg is to be sent to the gallows. But while on the train to deliver Bragg to his fate, the train is stopped by a pair of hired guns who have Allie in their clutches! Bragg demands to be released or else they'll kill Allie and Virgil is torn - but he still relents and Bragg rides off with his men and Virgil's girl too. Everett and Virgil have to do what's right by the law and they set out to bring Allie back to safety and take Bragg in for his execution - but Bragg will not go down without a fight, and his plans for defeating Virgil and Everett go much deeper than a simple shoot out.

Careful boys, that one's a real snake...

This movie is a surprising treat and I loved every moment of it! I loved, not only the quintessential western aspects like the battle between the good and bad guys, but also the superficial love story that gets entwined into this movie, as well as the deep rooted friendship we see between Mortensen and Harris' characters. And can I just say, Viggo Mortensen playing a cowboy of few words is a MAGNIFICENT role for him! Fans of westerns, especially modern day reprisals of the genre will be thrilled with this gripping tale of adventure, betrayal, and fighting the good fight!

Pure awesomeness! And yes, I did just roll out of bed to blog about 
this movie. Which totally proves how amazing it is!

Friday, November 14, 2014

How to Irritate People

Something that many people don't know about me is that I crazy-love Monty Python! I first saw Monty Python and The Holy Grail in high school and from there I was a goner! I happily own all of the Monty Python movies plus a box set including every season of The Flying Circus with extra documentaries on the comedy troupe. I love the random zany humor, and I feel like a great deal of the show's comedic genius is owed to John Cleese. I know that he's not everyone's cup of tea but in the later seasons of The Flying Circus it felt like the show had lost some of its hilarious qualities - and I believe that's because John Cleese had stepped away. I first saw this movie in high school, also loaned to me by the same friend who loaned me my first Monty Python movie, and it was an instant love for me as well!

One of my many collections, but a very dear one to my heart :)

In this witty mock-umentary, John Cleese acts as the host of a program dedicated to teaching its viewers a very useful skill: how to irritate people. John explains that the most important key to annoying people is that you should never go too far - don't cause your victim to go totally bonkers and go on a rampage where they end up shooting people. There is a fine art between driving people to the brink of insanity and driving people to get so flustered they scream before returning to their normal lives. Following this cardinal rule of how to properly annoy people, John Cleese doesn't just leave us in the dark. Oh no, he wants to make sure we properly understand the right way to effectively bother other people. 

How to irritate people the right way? Don't worry, we're about to learn how!

Aided by his trusty pals Michael Palin, Graham Chapman, and several other actors - John Cleese introduces a list of examples and types of people where prime annoyance is displayed. Parents and dowdy older ladies nicknamed "pepper pots" are captains at annoying those around them; as are car salesmen, actors, and airplane pilots. With the help of these actors, John presents live sketch examples of people being irritated - we watch parents bother their grown children about not spending enough time with them or just interrupting their television time, we watch waiters grovel at the feet of their patrons for praise, we see old ladies talk through movies and drive quiz show hosts completely bonkers! And all of this is to help the general public understand proper annoyance techniques - how helpful!

Gone mad? Maybe. Already mad? More likely.

Like I said, a Monty Python fan, I fell in love with this movie! I love the dry documentary humor interspersed with over the top comedy sketches. I won't lie, my favorites are the "pepper pots". Old ladies bothering people with their psycho-babble? Perfection! Fans of Monty Python-esque humor, British comedies, or John Cleese will love this movie and potentially end up in stitches over its hilarity. And don't forget that we're learning a valuable lesson: the art of annoying people!

A favorite in my collection, now I'm excited
to watch more of my Monty Python movies!