Wednesday, October 1, 2014

As Above, So Below

Despite my love for horror movies, how many I own, and the frequency with which I watch them; I am the BIGGEST weenie in the world! I'm very jumpy and anxious, I take things to heart which means I can't handle things like dark rooms or corners after watching something creepy, but I continue to subject myself to these movies! I'm too lazy to be an adrenaline junkie so I get my dose from the movies I watch apparently! And it is with this attitude that I begged my best friend Bri to come with me to see As Above So Below. I have a hard time with horror movies in theaters - they are either too good at scaring me and make me want to run away (like the Evil Dead remake), or they have the exact opposite effect and make me grumpy because I'm not impressed (which is exactly what happened with Chernobyl Diaries). But regardless, this movie beat me into a nauseous, sniveling pulp and it was worth it now that I'm home and safe. And so, it is with great pleasure that I open up My ABCs of Horror with our letter A: As Above, So Below!

This was the perfect double feature, and I'll be telling you all about 
Tusk for the letter T of My ABCs of Horror!

Proud PhD holder, student of dead languages, and thriving anthropologist Scarlett (Perdita Weeks) has always followed in her father's footsteps. Both fascinated with anthropology and the ways of the world eons before their time, when Scarlett's father took his own life she felt the need to carry on his work. But he wasn't just searching for pieces of dead languages or for shiny artifacts...well, maybe one artifact in particular. Scarlett's father was deeply interested in the ancient studies of Alchemy - a medieval form of chemistry that focused on the transformation of all kinds of matter. Be it gold, stone, or even human flesh - Alchemy fascinated Scarlett's father. But with this love of Alchemy, came the search for the Philosopher's Stone.

Scarlet's got a treasure to find. And it's going to change the world. 

The Philosopher's Stone was a stone that was fabled to have the power to transform anything it came in contact with - it could create mountains of riches and heal wounds. But finding this stone has been a challenge that overtook both Scarlett's and her father's lives. Scarlett's latest venture has brought her to Paris, France. It is here that she has hired a cameraman named Benji (Edwin Hodge) whom she wants to document her final steps in discovering the Philosopher's Stone. And why is she so confident she'll find the stone now? Because while illegally scouting in Iran, Scarlett uncovered an ancient sculpture covered in scripture than held more clues as to where the resting place of the stone might be. The only issue though is that all the runes are in Aramaic, which is not one of the dead languages that Scarlett speaks. But her good friend George (Ben Feldman) who is currently staying in Paris does know Aramaic, and he is going to help her find the stone.

There's only one guy who can help, and the trip to Paris is an excellent bonus!

After some translating and consulting with an ancient tombstone that also holds key clues, George and Scarlett come to the conclusion that these clues are pointing down below their feet. Literally. The Philosopher's Stone, or at least the next parts of the riddle, lay within the catacombs underneath the city of Paris. Home to the bones and corpses of nearly 6 million people, the catacombs are an intense dusty labyrinth of tunnels with oodles of hiding places for a precious stone...but after taking a guided tour of the catacombs and consulting her ancient maps, Scarlett and George find that the clues aren't leading them down a well-beaten path. They having to go into the hidden tunnels and chambers where tourists aren't allowed to travel. But Scarlett can't navigate these tunnels alone, she needs the help of someone familiar with these tombs - and that is how she is introduced to Papillion.

Papillion (Francois Civil) is the go-to man if you're looking to sneak into the hidden parts of the catacombs, but this is not an easy mission and will require great stealth and a little help. Alongside his teammates Zed (Ali Marhyar) and Souxie (Marion Lambert), Papillion helps outfit George, Benji, and Scarlett and the group descends into the catacombs through a small fissure inside a train tunnel. But from the get-go there are immediate problems. The groups finds themselves trapped inside a cavern by a landslide and have no choice but to push onward - and that is when they come across the sealed door. Scarlett insists they take the sealed door because it is the quickest route, but Papillion begs otherwise - this passage is shrouded in mystery and those that enter it never come out. There is evil in there. But Scarlett wants that stone. The group pushes through the doorway, which ultimately seals their fate. From this moment on, they are met with unspeakable terrors that could only have leaked out of Hell itself. Was the Philosopher's Stone really worth it? What does it matter if all of these young explorers end up dead?

She may find what she's looking for - but is it worth killing all 
of her friends for? 

WOW! This movie took a twist that I never would have anticipated! I thought this was going to be similar to The Descent - just a group of thrill seekers trampling around in the catacombs under Paris when all Hell literally breaks loose. But no! This was like a demonic version of Indiana Jones, they're looking for buried treasure but the only thing keeping them from getting out alive in Satan and his minions. I'm not a big fan of found footage movies, because they feel too real for me - but aside from this feeling overly real, the action with the camera was just too intense and I actually got a little motion sick. Plus there are cameras on the headlamps of some of the cast members so the images jump around to different people's perspectives, this could be cool but the sudden changes and jostling was too much for my stomach to handle. If you're a fan of found footage movies, movies about expeditions gone wrong, things involving Hell and demons, and those whose ears perked up at the mentioning of the word Alchemy (I'm looking at you Fullmetal Alchemist fans!) then I do recommend checking this movie out. But bring a friend in case you need a hand to hold or to be resuscitated!

We survived the terror and nausea! Highly recommended movie but YIKES!!

My ABCs of Horror

I am so excited to be tackling another month-long horror movie adventure! Back in 2012, I dedicated the entire month of October to watching the Scariest Horror Movies that my friends and family suggested to me. Looking back now, that wasn't the wisest decision because I basically spent the entire 31 days of October terrified and very jumpy so I've given myself some time to calm down and regroup...I think this 2 year break has prepared me to try again. But instead of tackling the scariest movies, I'm going to do something a little nerdier. And I would love for you to join in.

Oh yeah. I organized the pants off this month!

A few weeks ago, my Instagram pal amovieguy14 challenged himself to watch a horror movie everyday that corresponded with a letter of the alphabet. And me being the hyper control freak and mega organizer that I am, I thought this was a brilliant idea and instantly wanted to jump on board! I combed Youtube, my Netflix account, and my local DVD shops to find movies that would satisfy a wide range of release dates but also coincide with the daily letter of the alphabet that I would be using. And after all my highlighters went dry and I pulled out some of my hair in frustration, the list was completed! I am ready to begin My ABCs of Horror!

Are you ready for the madness?

Being that it is October and the official month of the horror movie, I would like to invite all of you to either join in and watch some of the movies I've posted on this list (all are new to me) or make up your own ABC list and give it a shot! Or if you're not a fan of scary movies, I'd love to see your own renditions on the movie-watching alphabet! ABCs of romance? Comedy? Musicals or childhood favorites? Go for it and report back, I want to be part of your journey too.

Here is my fully compiled alphabet, let the fright fest begin!

B - The Bay*
C - Candyman*
D - Drag Me to Hell
E - The Eye (2008)**
F - The Fly (1986)***
G - Ginger Snaps**
H - Haunt*
I - I Know What You Did Last Summer
J - Jug Face*
K - Kill Theory*
L - Lake Placid***
M - The Mist
N - Nightmare Detective
O - The Others
P - Prom Night (1980)
Q - Queen of the Damned
R - Rosemary's Baby*
S - Scream*
T - Tusk
U - Urban Legend***
V - VHS 2*
W - Wolf Creek 2*
X - Xtro**
Y - You're Next*
Z - Zombie Hunter*

*These are movies that can be watched on Netflix
**These are movies that can be watched in full length on Youtube
***These are movies available for rent on Amazon Instant Video

Tuesday, September 30, 2014


I sincerely apologize for this CRAZY OVERDUE post but I have had the most ridiculous past week! I got my hair cut, I house sat in a land with no wifi and the cutest cats in the universe, I watched a lot of game shows, enjoyed belated birthday dinners, saw some horror movies in the theater - which I need to do more often because it is great, and ate so much sushi I almost died. WOW. Lots of crazy stuff! But the best thing that came out of all this craziness is that staying in a house with no wifi and a comfy bed often means I watch DVDs on my laptop while snuggling whatever critters I'm taking care of. I've had a DVD copy of Striptease sitting on my shelf for ages and never did muster up the courage to watch it. But I did it! I broke the seal, I was committed! And now I am reaping all the benefits. 

So much fun stuff over this past week, but I'm back to some serious
movie watching. I promise!

Erin Grant (Demi Moore) is a newly single mother just trying to make things work. Once a happily married woman, Erin used to head the front desk for the FBI when a background check on her husband turned up his sketchy criminal record and she was fired. And that's when everything fell apart. After losing her job, Erin's relationship with her husband Darrell (Robert Patrick) deteriorated quickly and the couple decided that a divorce was definitely in the works but there's one problem: their daughter Angela (Rumer Willis). 

Erin and Darrell get into a nasty custody battle over Angela, and it doesn't go the way Erin had hoped. The right wing, conservative judge presiding over her case won't award Erin custody because she lost her job! Which is completely unfair because she lost her job because of her deadbeat husband! So unless Erin can prove that she has a steady job that will support both herself and her daughter, little Angela has to stay with her dirty daddy Darrell. So naturally Erin's next course of action is finding a great paying job that will get her life back on track...but where can she find an entry level job that pays amazingly? Well, the answer turns out being pretty simple and a tad degrading: Erin goes into stripping. 

Need quick cash? Take off your clothes!

Hired on at the Eager Beaver Gentleman's Club, Erin quickly becomes a crowd pleasing favorite and attracts quite a few admirers. Eight months pass, and while she's making good money and is able to afford a beautiful condo that she hopes to move Angela into...there is no way the ultra-conservative judge is going to award custody of a young child to a stripper! And even though Erin struggles with this issue every single day, she soon comes to find that she has much bigger problems on her plate. 

This man is about be a major pain in Erin's butt...maybe even literally!

Super conservative Congressman David Dilbeck (Burt Reynolds) enjoys visiting sleazy bars and strip clubs on the sly while he's campaigning for his next election, and on his visit to the Eager Beaver he fell in love with Erin and actually got in a bit of a brawl while defending her honor. But when a few men come forward trying to blackmail Dilbeck with photos of him incognito in a strip club, he's quick to silence these men...literally! He has them murdered! But his infatuation with Erin never wanes, he even approaches her with the proposition of dancing for him privately for several grand a night on his private yacht! Of course Erin can't resist, she wants to get her daughter back...but when Lieutenant Gargia (Armand Assante) approaches Erin with some disturbing theories on Dilbeck's dirty political practices and asks if she'd be willing to help expose the corrupt congressman. Uh...duh!

Reveal a dirty congressman, strip to sultry 90s rock know, girl stuff.

This movie ended up being tons of fun and I am so grateful! I love movies that have anything to do with music, dancing, burlesque, and other forms of striptease - I was almost worried that this movie was going to be crass and in poor taste. Plus I've never seen anything with Demi Moore in it before and had no idea what to expect from her as an actress but wow did she deliver! The music is sultry and fun, the strippers are adorable gals with lots of pep, there is plenty of action in this movie too which is a fun 90s twist, but the highlight of this movie has to be Demi stripping. I mean, yes it's awesome that she's got a rockin' body and killer moves but she takes it so seriously. Demi Moore made this movie into the stripper version of Flashdance and I am 100% happy with the result! If anything that I've mentioned sounds appealing to you, I recommend checking out this movie. And if you're not sold, Demi Moore gets topless often. You're welcome. 

I am so in love with this movie! Now I'm ready to watch Flashdance again!

Friday, September 26, 2014

The Seasoning House

The year is 1996 and the Balkans peninsula is being ripped apart by a vicious civil war. But the true casualties of the war are the young girls who are captured and turned into sex slaves for the rebel soldiers. One such girl is a young deaf-mute (Rosie Day) who is captured alongside a slew of other girls and taken to an abandoned mansion-turned-brothel run by a slimy man named Viktor. As Viktor (Kevin Howarth) is processing his newest group of captives, he notices the deaf-mute girl. She's very pretty except for the grisly misshapen birthmark on her face, so clearly she can't be used for prostitution purposes. Unable to speak to him, Viktor nicknames the girl Angel and decides that if she can't pull in any money he'll use her as free labor. And with that, Angel becomes keeper of the house.

Everyday the girl makes her rounds, first giving small loaves of bread to the girls who are strapped to their beds for breakfast and then goes around with a bucket to clean out the chamber pots in the corners of the room. And next comes getting the girls ready to meet their male patrons of the day. Angel goes from room to room with a cigar box packed with the supplies to make the girls suitable for work: a pallet of eye shadow and a tube of lipstick to make the girls appealing, a damp rag to clean off blood and grime from the previous days, and the tools needed to administer heroin to the girls to mask the pain they'll likely endure from the men. And once all of this is done, Angel goes back to her room and goes to sleep. Or that is what Viktor thinks she does. 

Angel has her own ways of making the time pass...

Having only these simple tasks to occupy her during the day, Angel has nothing really to entertain her or keep her busy. So she starts secretly exploring the house by taking the grates off the walls and climbing through the heating ducts and in between the other empty spaces inside the walls of the old house. Here Angel sees the horrible ways the men treat the girls in the house, but she has to remain impartial. Who knows what Viktor would do if he knew she was watching what happened between the girls and the men! But remaining numb to the things happening in the house becomes all the more difficult when Angel makes friends with one of the girls. 

Making friends is difficult...but it's not impossible. 

Arijana (Amanda Wuss) has noticed that when Angel comes around to her room she doesn't react at all when she speaks to her, and growing up with a deaf father she tries communicating with Angel in sign language. And it works! Angel is thrilled to find someone in the house she can speak with, someone to call a friend! She sneaks into Arijana's room through the vents in the middle of the night so the two can talk and share the chocolate that Viktor gives Angel every day. But this friendship is short-lived when Arijana's pelvis is broken by one of the rougher men who frequent the brothel and the poor girl is only given a few days to heal before she has to see men again. But Angel is not okay with, and has decided to take a stand against the men that hurt the girls and the men that hold them captive. Hell hath no fury like this deaf girl's scorn. 

Angel has seen enough of this madness, she wants to end it!

This movie was surprisingly intense and brilliantly eerie! I was looking for a good horror movie to watch a couple nights ago and was having trouble deciding on what to watch. I was leaning between A Serbian Film and Wer when I randomly decided to scroll through my Netflix account and I remembered this movie was there. I honestly anticipated more gore and horror type stuff, this movie was mostly just drama and thriller type suspense. But don't get me wrong, it's a very intense movie - just not a horror movie if that's what you're in the mood for. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


I had no idea what I was getting in to when I popped this movie into my DVD player. My good friend AMovieGuy14 gave me a HUGE box of goodies for my birthday this past week, and included in that box was a DVD copy of Dredd. He told me in the past that he really thought I'd like it, and that I should join the Dredd Sequel Movement - on September 18th everyone who loves Dredd was supposed to buy, rent, stream, and/or watch the movie to show that everyone wants a sequel to be made. I feel like a dumbo for not joining in on the 18th, but now that I've seen this movie I will agree - I want a sequel! This story was just too great to exist in only one movie!!

So many great gifts! I am a spoiled girl!

Far into the future, the United States has become a desolate wasteland and the entire human population has been rounded up into one enormous city. Over 800 million people living in a single city stretching from what would have been Boston, Massachusetts all the way South to what used to be Washington D.C.The entire city is a mash-up of the deteriorating buildings of the older world, mixed with enormous skyscrapers - known as blocks - that attempt to house all of these people. But with so many living in poverty and in such tight quarters, there is bound to be trouble. And that trouble is kept under control by armed officers called Judges. Our story is about one of those Judges: Judge Dredd.

Dredd is about to embark on his most thrilling mission yet.

Judge Dredd (played by the continuously masked Karl Urban) is one of the top ranking officers. Tight-lipped and stone cold, this man takes his job and the execution of justice very seriously - and that is why he is being assigned to train a new rookie Judge who is a bit of a special case. A young girl named Anderson (Olivia Thirlby) was taken in by the government as an orphan when both of her parents died of cancer. As with all orphans, Anderson was tested to see if she might be compatible with joining the Judge program someday but while she failed by only a couple of points...she makes up for those points with her ability. And her ability is that she is psychic. She is able to read the mind, actions, and past of those around her - a very rare gift, but not something unusual in this society. Her psychic abilities would be of great help to the Judges.

Anderson's gift is something the Judges need. Badly.

Anderson is assigned to shadow Dredd for her first day in the field, at the end of which Dredd will decide if the girl is able to handle the pressures of being a Judge despite having failed her test. And their first call of action for the day is investigating a triple homicide in the Peach Trees District. The skin of three corpses were dropped from a high level in the Peach Trees block and splattered all over the courtyard, a messy scene but probably a punishment. Like someone was trying to send a message. And that's when Dredd and Anderson learn about the Ma-Ma clan.

Meet Ma-Ma. That's right, THE Ma-Ma. 

Ma-Ma (Lena Headey) is the leader of a gang that runs the Peach Trees District. Originally a prostitute, Madeline Madrigal aka Ma-Ma killed the pimp who disfigured her face and took over his enterprises. From that point, Ma-Ma was power hungry and she fought off three rival gangs for the ownership of Peach Trees, which she rules with an iron fist. Seeing her as a violent crime lord, Dredd and Anderson know they need to find her and the men associated with the recent homicides and bring them into justice. But Ma-Ma has her eyes on Dredd and decides that she's not going to go easily. With some help from her tech team, Ma-Ma has the entire block locked down air tight so no one can get in or out and she orders over the intercom system that the block will remain locked down until someone kills the two Judges also locked inside. Dredd and Anderson are now the victims of a violent manhunt, but Dredd isn't worried. He's going to bring down Ma-Ma, and anyone else who stands in his way of doing so.

Concrete walls and heavily armed gang members are no match for these Judges!

HOLY WOW!!! Based on a British comic series, Dredd is AMAZING!!! Visually spectacular, hard hitting violence, and deliciously seasoned gore are all swirled around this amazing cold-blooded character that Karl Urban was MADE to play!! From what I understand, there was a 1990s version of Dredd released starring Sylvester Stallone that doesn't even come close to holding a candle to this movie. For those who love comic-based movies that are screaming with amazing violence, I highly recommend this movie. This will not be one you can watch only once!


Monday, September 22, 2014


This is a movie that you seriously need to commit to. And I don't just mean that you have to mentally prepare yourself or do a bunch of research beforehand or watch any prequels or anything. This movie is over 4 hours long, and it's not a movie that you can just stop watching halfway through and then jump back in. Once this DVD slides into that player, you are not going ANYWHERE for the duration of the movie. Granted, it's not like you'll miss anything from the story because nearly everyone knows the tale of Egyptian Queen Cleopatra, I feel that if you don't stick with this movie you won't be able to appreciate how grand and majestic it is. Long-winded or not, this is a beautiful movie and a must see for those who claim to be cinema freaks.

Despite what you might think, this movie is not a chronicle of Cleopatra's entire life. Rather, the story begins during the rise of Julius Caesar's empire. Caesar (Rex Harrison) has just defeated Pompey in battle, but the man retreated to his home in Egypt where Caesar then traveled to gain support from Pharaoh Ptolmey XIII (Richard O'Sullivan). But while in the heart of Egypt, the jeweled city of Alexandria, Caesar finds himself being inconspicuously visited by the Pharaoh's own sister Cleopatra (Elizabeth Taylor) who knows more about the political overturning in Egypt than Caesar does. Cleopatra tries to warn Caesar that her brother means to overthrow him while he stays in Egypt, but Caesar laughs and orders for the Egyptian naval fleets to be burned in the harbor. But Cleopatra warned Caesar for more reasons that just to further his empire's conquests. No, Cleopatra thirsts for power as well.

A pretty girl who aspires to greatness!

More than anything, Cleopatra believes that she should be the one to rule Egypt and not her silly brother. She's a smart girl, and with Julius Caesar on her side the two of them could rule the world! Cleopatra is a trickster, she isn't above using her body and girlish wiles to intrigue Caesar...and it doesn't take long before Caesar falls for her completely. But not too hard because he's still faithfully married - "faithfully" - married to his wife Calpurnia (Gwen Watford). Caesar overthrows Cleopatra's brother and banishes Ptolmey XIII to fight alongside his men in the armies he formerly commanded, which Cleopatra is crowned the Queen of Egypt. Together, Cleopatra and Caesar sire a son named Caesarion whom Caesar promises to name his heir to the Roman Empire. But all is not roses from this point on.

She's on top now...but that won't last for long.

Caesar made many enemies in Rome, and many of his faithful subjects and members of the Roman senate were far from happy that Caesar named his Egyptian son heir to his empire. But when a rumor started bubbling up that Caesar was thinking of crowning himself king - something that was outlandishly inappropriate by Roman law - he had to be stopped, and with that he was stabbed to death by his fellow senators on the Ides of March. But instead of Cleopatra's son Caesarion being named heir, Caesar's nephew Octavian (Roddy McDowall) is given the throne instead! Outraged, Cleopatra vows to have nothing more to do with Rome. But Rome isn't quite done with her.

How simple life used to be...

A man named Marc Antony (Richard Burton) forges an alliance with the newly-appointed ruler Octavian and together they split up the Roman empire. But Antony, like most men, is thirsty for power and territory and wants to take what he can from Octavian. There's just one problem: Antony cannot do anything without money. And the only place he can possibly get money is from Egypt, the wealthiest country in the empire. Antony goes before Cleopatra begging for his help...and this begging for money spirals out of control into a passionate love affair between the two. But it's this love affair that will tear apart any hopes these two lovers have for conquering the Romans. And any hopes of them living out their happily ever after.

The sun is doomed to get on their love.

This movie is an intense, beautifully-created epic masterpiece! Every little detail from the lavish set designs and costumes to the classic all-star cast is a total home run! It's amazing to think that this movie created so much drama during filming and nearly bankrupted 20th Century Fox - this movie cost $44 million to make and only brought in $26 million at the box office! Despite these behind-the-scenes set backs though, I am totally in love with this movie. It's a historian's and classic movie nerd's dream, it's a treat for the eyes and ears. Granted, I might be biased because back when I was 10 years old this was the first Elizabeth Taylor movie I ever saw - but I can't help thinking that this is pretty damn great!

Insanely amazing! A must-see for classic movie fans!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Space Jam

Firstly, I would like to thank all of you readers/followers/friends who sent warm birthday wishes and amazing gifts my way over the past month! You are all wonderful people and have made turning 25 feel pretty special for me :) I didn't have this movie set aside as a special birthday post, trust me. But this was something I picked up a Target last week out of nostalgia purposes - one of my tap dance recitals was performed to the Space Jam song when I was little - and I watched it right after True Grit when I was trying to rid myself of the horrible sadness brought on by 12 Years a Slave. I have to admit, this movie is not nearly as great as it seemed to be when I was a kid but it's still very funny.

Michael Jordan (played by himself) did everything he set out to do when he was a little boy. He wanted to go to college, he wanted to play professional basketball, he wanted to fly - and he did all of those things! But one dream he has yet to live out is trying his hand at playing professional baseball, something he promised he would do for his dad. The world of sports goes into an uproar after hearing about Michael's retirement from basketball and his transition to baseball, but Michael is sure of his path. There's just one issue. Michael totally sucks at baseball! But he doesn't want to quit, he knows he can get better. But while Michael is dealing with this tough transition on Earth, there are crazy things happening elsewhere in the universe...

Leaving basketball may not have been his best move...but something
tells me he's not going to be away from it for long...

Deep in the vast abyss of space lies a planet called Moron Mountain. Moron Mountain is basically a planet-sized amusement park, but lately the number of aliens coming to the park have been dwindling. There's nothing exciting to pull in new patrons, and the operator of Moron Mountain - Mr. Swackhammer (voiced by Danny DeVito) - is not happy. Swackhammer calls in his team of measly little worker aliens in to have a creative meeting, they need to come up with a new idea to bring in the money! And when one of the little dopes is flipping through television channels, he catches a glimpse of an old Looney Tunes cartoon and there it is! Light bulb! The little aliens will go to Earth, bring back the Looney Tunes to Moron Mountain, and exploit their comedic talents for money! It's brilliant! And with that the little aliens board a spaceship and rocket towards Earth.

"How to Capture Looney Tunes Volume One"

Down in Looney Tune town, Toonville? I don't know what it's called, all the Warner Brothers characters are living their regular lives. Bugs Bunny is evading Elmer Fudd, Sylvester and Wile E. Coyote are both trying to catch Tweety Bird and the Roadrunner - everyone is going about their own business. And then the Moron Mountain aliens land and start demanding immediate surrender from the Looney Tunes. Um, really? These little ankle biters think they can convince them to board their ship into slavery? Yeah right! But once the aliens whip out their laser guns, Bugs Bunny realizes that this is a whole different ballgame. Granted, none of the Looney Tunes want to go back to Moron Mountain...but they have to find a way to earn their freedom. So Bugs challenges the tiny little aliens to a basketball game, how can these tiny little creatures possibly beat them at basketball? Well...with a conniving plot! That's how!

No one ever said anything about fighting fair!

The little aliens have never heard of basketball, so they take a little field trip to Madison Square Garden to watch a game...and they realize they're going to have trouble. Basketball players are huge and strong, not measly and slug-like! So the aliens do the only thing that could possibly up the game in their favor: they suck the talent out of 5 NBA players and absorb it...which in turn morphs them into muscular giants who essentially rule at the sport! And once the Looney Tunes see this, they realize that their little gags and tricks aren't going to be any match against raw talent...unless they get some talent of their own on their side! Which, for them, means kidnapping Michael Jordan, and begging him to play on their team so no one has to go to Moron Mountain! But even if Michael agrees, turning this team of cartoon characters into a winning basketball team is going to be no easy task.

Yeah, beating these Mon-Stars is going to be tough. But if anyone
can do it, Michael Jordan can!

This movie is cute, and I loved looking back to one of my favorite childhood movies. But I'm going to be honest, I don't love it as much as I used to. The zany antics are a little much for me, plus I didn't like the slightly askew animation style that was used for the Looney Tunes characters - I wanted classic Bugs Bunny! But I can't complain too much because there was an abundance of jokes that I finally understand now that I'm older, PLUS a brief little homage to Pulp Fiction that had me ridiculously giddy and squealing for 8 seconds! Overall, this is a fun kids movie with lots of fun jokes and basketball - but it wasn't the best for my personal tastes.

Another fun walk down Nostalgia Lane!