Thursday, May 21, 2015

Cyborg


Should I just change my blog's name to "Reasons Why 80s and 90s Movies Are the Best Movies" because that's basically how I feel this week. I haven't been exposed to lots of 80s era action movies, but I know that they are definitely my favorites because they go all out! Muscular heroes who aren't afraid to take a punch or 9 to the face for their cause, big ass guns, insane fight scenes, and the best one-liners to grace the silver screen...how can we look for anything more? And this week marks another first for me - this is my first ever Jean-Claude Van Damme movie - not counting The Expendables 2 because that wasn't really his movie. I was warned that this was going to be a pretty cheesy movie and that there would be a chance I wouldn't like it. WRONG! I am in LOVE!!

The world has died. Civilization has collapsed, mass genocide has swept over the entire land, man turned against his fellow man...but the devastation did not end there. Just when it didn't seem like things could get any worse, a plague swept over the land leaving only a small handful of survivors to scrape their way through life. Some would call this misery, but not Fender Tremolo (Vincent Klyn) - a vicious gang leader who thrives on the destruction of the world. And he will do anything to make sure that this way of life stays the way it is. Which is his reasoning behind capturing a Cyborg named Pearl. Pearl (Dayle Haddon) is carrying vital information that will help the last remaining doctors in the world develop a cure to end the plague - she was on her way to Atlanta with the information when she was intercepted by Fender...but not before she met Gibson.

Help the ugly cyborg Gibson! You're her only hope!

Gibson Rickenbacker (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is a slinger - another term for mercenary - and he was minding his own business when his path crossed with Pearl's while she was fleeing for her life from Fender and his gang. Pearl begged for Gibson's help but Gibson was overpowered by Fender and Pearl was taken by force into Fender's gang. Gibson has had his own personal vendetta against Fender that he wanted to right...but now he has even more reason to pursue the madman. Teaming up with a young woman named Nady (Deborah Richter) who desperately wants to find a cure for the plague that ripped her family away from her, the twosome begin the hunt for Fender and his men. They've got the rest of mankind's lives in their hands!

WE'RE GONNA YELL STUFF AND KICK EACH OTHER FOR HUMANITY!!!

This month has definitely been one for post-apocalyptic madness, and I have no issue with that. And while I've been enjoying the monster rig car chases of the Mad Max movies, this was a fun change of pace because it's all about human action! The stunts in this movie are excellent and DAYUM! Wham Bam Van Damme has some serious moves - apparently during the filming of this movie he actually kicked a guy's eye right out of his head! If that's not action-packed, I don't know what is! But this movie is far from serious - it has some mega cheese factors to it. The animation used to create the Cyborg character is laughable - she looks so hokey! But I can let that slide in comparison to Vincent Klyn's performance.

This guy couldn't act his way out of a paper bag...that's why he has the knife. 

THIS GUY HAS TO BE THE WORST ACTOR IN THE UNIVERSE. And he's not even a real actor! Klyn is a professional surfer who apparently doesn't understand voice inflection, facial features...or how to do much else well other than holler a whole bunch. He is a laughably dopey villain and should have stuck to surfing, but I guess every village needs their idiot. Overall, this was a fun action movie that I highly recommend for those who love 90s movies with a Sci-Fi twist. Up next on my Van Damme watch list is Bloodsport - am I in for a good or a bad experience? Tell me in the comment section below!

THURSDAY NIGHT IS THE BEST NIGHT TO TUNE IN TO REAL PUNK RADIO!! Home to the Thursday Night Wrecking Pit, Real Punk Radio is your Thursday night destination for the best in Psychobilly radio programming. Starting tonight at 6pm PT Gone Mental will be kicking off the evening, and then at 7pm PT Zorch Radio takes over the reigns and rides out the evening til 10pm with the best in Psychotronic rock n' roll. Make sure to tune in to the Thursday Night Wrecking Pit tonight, where I will be talking about my experience with Cyborg during the Trash-Tastic Minute on Zorch Radio. So make sure to tune in to Real Punk Radio tonight!

Psychotronic rock and roll at its finest!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Beautician and The Beast


Joy Miller (Fran Drescher) is a beautician with big dreams! In her perfect world she would score a job working as the exclusive make-up artist to the girl who announces the lottery numbers every week on television...but when that job is given to a stylish European beautician Joy is sent back to teaching night classes at the beauty school in New York. But this isn't the life that Joy envisions for herself! Her mother (Phyllis Newman) believes that Joy needs to keep working at the night school and eventually settle down and get married..but how can Joy just settle down when she has so much life ahead of her? And then a strange twist of fate opens up a window of opportunity to her that she never would have imagined.

Maybe this New York girl's dreams of a bigger life
will finally come true!

One night while teaching one of her classes, a freak accident causes the school to go up in flames and Joy is photographed heroically rescuing the lab rats from the science classroom. And this picture of her good deed falls into the lap of a man named Grushinsky. Grushinsky (Ian McNeice) is the personal assistant to President Boris Pochenko (Timothy Dalton) - the leader of a small European country that is in a bit of political turmoil. President Pochenko sent Grushinsky to the United States to bring back a teacher who will school his children in history, science, and 20th century education. But Grushinsky mistook Joy's picture in the newspaper for her being a science teacher - and it isn't until after Joy has agreed to take on the job and the two are driving through the streets of Slovetzia when Grushinsky realizes his horrible mistake! Oh no! What are they going to do?? Well Joy decides that it can just be their little secret - Grushinsky wants to keep his job, and Joy wants to get paid $40,000.

They can keep a secret...right? 

The two arrive at the large Pochenko manner high in the mountains of Slovetzia and Joy is instantly put before President Pochenko - a terrifyingly rigid man who has never met a woman as forthright and outspoken as Joy before. Boris is a man used to being obeyed and feared - but Joy is fearless and she won't keep her mouth shut when she notices something that doesn't sit kosher with her. Like the fact that all of the history books his children are supposed to be learning from all depict the greatest historical achievements as being their father's ideas - North Korea much? And Joy cannot stand the fact that he leads with fear instead of love, he can't accomplish anything this way! And the more time that Joy spends in the Pochenko manner, the more she infuriates and intrigues Boris - this woman is insufferable! But then again...she also has some very valuable points.

She makes him angry sometimes..but it's kind of worth it. 

Sure, the household has been turned inside out but Joy is also opening up Boris' eyes to things he never considered. With a little reason and stubbornness, Joy shows him how wonderful it is to spend time with his children and how important it is to give the working class people of his country benefits for their labor...Boris suddenly feels enlightened and happy! He even shaves off his signature mustache! But the fun and games cannot last forever. Joy and Grushinsky are still hiding Joy's little secret of not being a worldly educator, and some people are far from happy with Boris' transformation into a more lighthearted version of himself. And these are the people that would try to reveal Joy's secret and stamp out the budding romance between herself and Boris! Oh the humanity! Oh the horror! Oh the squandered love affair!

How could someone tear them apart?! How cruel!?

This is a movie I've been holding out on for a while now. I absolutely love romantic comedies, especially from the 90s...but this one had the potential to be horrible. I mean, Fran Drescher herself is always on the fence of being either too much or just enough and maybe this movie was just going to ruin everything. Plus with a title like The Beautician and The Beast, how could I pass it up??? That's a dream cheese title!! But this movie ended up being an adorable romantic comedy that either had me laughing so hard I cried or doing the head tilt "Awww it's so cute!" thing. And even better, I had my fellow blogger buddy The Cinemartyr watch this movie with me - we go back and forth picking out movies to watch on Netflix and I used this one as a threat for a couple of weeks...and then he ended up picking it. And he also liked it! He'll probably try to deny it but he did have fun, I swear it! For those looking for a witty 90s comedy with a touch of precious romance, I do highly recommend this movie - it's like The Nanny meets The Beauty and the Beast, with a hint of The Sound of Music. It's just plain great!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Side Effects


Emily Taylor (Rooney Mara) has been struggling with depression all of her life. She's tried different medications over the years and has some progress but it's always lingered on the outer reaches of her mind. And it doesn't help that her life has been an emotional roller coaster, and her current situation doesn't help. Emily's husband Martin (Channing Tatum) was arrested for financial fraud through the last company he worked for and has been in prison for a while now. But it's finally the day of his release...and Emily should be excited. But she's not, she's hardly showing any emotion at all. She waits patiently for Martin's release, they go home where she's planned a romantic dinner, and they make love before falling asleep. And then the next day Emily accelerates her car full-speed into the concrete wall of a parking garage! Something isn't right.

She should be happy that her husband is home...right? 

Emily is admitted to the hospital where she is evaluated by psychologist Dr. Jonathan Banks (Jude Law). She explains that she has struggled with depression but she's been having a hard time and her foot just slipped - this whole ordeal was an accident and all she wants to do is go home. Dr. Banks is hesitant but considering that Emily is trying to readjust to having her husband home from prison, he can see where slip ups might happen. But he does make her consent to seeing him a couple times during the week for therapy. And during their first session, it's clear that Emily's depression is starting to arise again. She isn't sleeping normally, she's feeling panicky, she cannot find her desire for her husband, and she's barely able to function when the couple goes out to see friends. Dr. Banks decides to prescribe an anti-depressant for Emily to try and boost her moods...and then more trouble starts.

Don't worry Emily, Dr. Banks plans on fixing your brain. 

Emily is not responding well to her medication. Her first round of pills doesn't have much of an effect on her, then another type makes her violently ill throughout the day - nothing seems to be working the way Dr. Banks had hoped. He even goes so far as to contacting Emily's previous psychiatrist, Dr. Victoria Siebert (Catherine Zeta-Jones) to see if she would have any insights...which also proves unsuccessful. But then Emily mentions a medication a co-worker recommended to her, something that really helped her and didn't have any negative side effects. Thinking that at this point there's nothing left to lose, Dr. Banks writes Emily a prescription...and it ends up causing her to sleep walk. At this rate, Martin is getting overly peeved with Emily's inconsistency - he wants his wife back, he's tired of dealing with this sickly, drugged out zombie! But before anything can be done to fix her medication, Emily's sleeping walking goes to a horrific extreme.

There's no going back  now...

Martin comes home late one night to find that Emily is cooking in her sleep, and he has had it! He tries snapping Emily out of her trance, but instead of waking up she picks up a kitchen knife and proceeds to stab Martin!! By the time Emily wakes up from her trance, Martin has already bled to death on floor - no! This wasn't even anything she could control! She calls the police, and because she was the murderer Emily is incarcerated. But while Emily may have been the one who caused Martin's death, is she really at fault or can the blame be placed on her medication? And with this idea in mind, Dr. Banks quickly becomes the target for investigation and his whole life falls apart - his wife and son move out of their apartment because of the media attention, Dr. Banks is removed from his private practice and research studies he was working on...he has no job and no family. But as Emily's case continues onward, Dr. Banks starts to notice inconsistencies in her testimony...and now he is certain that something is amiss. He no longer feels like Emily was the helpless victim in an unfortunate circumstance, but more than she might be benefiting from the happenings...

He has to find out what is going on!

This movie was surprisingly awesome once it started to pick up. It's been sitting in my Netflix queue for the longest time now, probably just because it had an all-star cast because the plot sounded like it was just going to be about a woman struggling with depression for 2 hours. But then she killed someone! And then the movie became all about betrayal and lies and backstabbery!! It became an awesome intense murder-mystery that I do recommend highly for those who love intense thrill ride movies. But be warned, it does progress slowly and in a very boring way. Which basically all movies do when the plot centers on a character's struggle with depression. But I promise that if you are able to wade through the murky beginning, the end and the plot twist are so worth it!

Monday, May 18, 2015

She's All That


I will never stop gushing about how much I love 90's and early 2000's romantic comedies, they had the perfect formula! Quirky female characters and attractive but believable male characters that women loved, but with the right amount of jokes and humor to keep male audiences enticed and not throwing up from the overly romantic plot. There's a reason why you'll see The Wedding Planner in many a guy's collection. Now, while this was my first time seeing She's All That in its entirety, I have been aware of the story line for quite a while and my only real idea of what to expect was formed by the spoofing of this movie that took place in Not Another Teen Movie - which is a horrible movie to judge anything on. But I was still excited to give this movie a try, it's a teenage classic and I can never turn one of those away.

Zack Siler (Freddie Prinze Jr) really does have it all. He's a senior in high school with only weeks to go until graduation, Zach is also the captain of the soccer team, he's the most popular guy in school, AND he's dating the queen bee of the school too: Taylor Vaughan (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe). Yes, Zack absolutely has everything...or does he? His dad is constantly pressuring him about college when Zack doesn't even really know where he sees himself after high school, and then he finds out about Taylor. Apparently over Spring Break, Taylor and her friends went to Daytona Beach and got totally hammered. And while all the other girls came back with secrets and dark tans, Taylor came back with a tattoo and a new man in her life! Taylor met MTV's The Real World star Brock Hudson (Matthew Lillard) and they totally hooked up! And Taylor didn't waste any time - she breaks up with Zack the day they come back from break! Ouch!

The king and queen of the school are no more!

Sure, Taylor is a total bitch but she was Zach's bitch and now he's going to be single for the end of his high school career. And while this might not seem like an issue to some people, it's a major problem for Zack because he now no longer has a date to the prom! But this is no real issue for Zack - Taylor was replaceable and there wasn't anything that special about her anyway. He can find a new girl to replace her no problem! And that's when Zach's best friend Dean (Paul Walker, may he rest in peace) suggests a little wager. Dean bets Zack that there is no way he could date any girl in the school and turn her into the same Prom Queen material that Taylor was. Zack laughs and goes to shake on the bet when Dean throws a curve ball into the mix: Dean has to be the one to pick who the girl is that Zack transforms. And without thinking twice, Zack shakes - the bet is on! And Dean has exactly the perfect girl in mind for Zack....

Bet on!!

Laney Boggs (Rachael Leigh Cook) has always been exceptional in an awkward way. She thrives on performance art and loves painting, she is up to date on the latest hot topics in world news - while other girls go out shopping, Laney glues three-dimensional pieces to her paintings in her dad's basement. And wouldn't you know it, but Laney Boggs is exactly the girl that Dean has in mind for Zack. Naturally, Zack is horrified - having to be seen in public with Laney Boggs? Gross! But he's not one to shy away from a bet so he tries approaching her. Naturally Laney knows that something isn't right here - the most popular guy in school is trying to act interested in her...there must be some catch. But no matter how many times Laney tries to shut Zack down he just keeps coming back! Maybe he is serious after all. So Laney decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and hang out with him.

How bad can hanging out with the popular guy be? 

As the days roll by, Zack and Laney are spending more time together and realizing that they actually do enjoy the other's company. Zack loves that Laney just accepts him as a human being, instead of an athlete or a popular guy. And Laney likes the fact that Zack just treats her like a human being instead of a waste of a human - something she's used to from the other kids at school. And things progress even further when Laney starts hanging out with some of Zack's friends and they accept her as one of their own - little Laney Boggs is making friends with the popular crowd! But while Zack and Laney are falling deeper into their high school romance, Dean is growing worried - at the rate things are going he's bound to lose the bet! He can't let that happen! So Dean decides to get his hands dirty and turn Zack and Laney against each other - which could ruin more than just their prom night!

Hopefully their new found love is stronger than any wrench
that Dean can throw between them...

This movie is so sweet and so much fun! As far as teen/high school movies go this one is definitely one of the most iconic because it pioneered the "take off the nerdy girl's glasses and BAM! she gets hot!" thing - so if you're one of the last humans on the planet to see this movie, you're definitely missing out on history. If you're a fan of teen comedy, romantic 90s comedies, and Freddie Prinze Jr in his prime I highly recommend seeing this movie before it leaves Netflix!

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Avengers: Age of Ultron


For the first time in my life, I am working at a job where I actually like all the people I work with! Everyone is super friendly, there is minimal drama, and we all enjoy each others company enough to do things together outside of work! To date we've thrown a couple of parties that have resulted in lots of drinking and hilarious rounds of Cards Against Humanity, and now to keep the fun rolling we've added outings to the movies to our list! One of the massage therapists I work with is a huge Marvel fan and mentioned wanting to see the new Avengers movie so that was the only push we needed! And man, am I excited that I got to see this in theaters!

Such a fun group - here's to more movie dates with my work family!

Since we last saw our pals, The Avengers, they have been scouring the globe with one goal in mind: bring down the evil organization HYDRA which is hellbent on world domination and destruction. The latest mission has brought the gang to the small European country Sokovia where they have sniffed out yet another HYDRA hideout, and after taking down the commanders in charge of this location, their exploration of the ancient castle housing the HYDRA clubhouse reveals some startling new developments. Firstly, there is the introduction of two young adults with incredible powers: a boy named Pietro (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) who has super human speed, and his sister Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen) who is able to influence people's thoughts, and control energy flows. Once the Sokovian castle is under siege by the Avengers, the twins go into hiding but what the Avengers really came for is in plain sight: the scepter that used to belong to Thor's wicked brother Loki.

The scepter is finally in good hands!

With scepter in hand, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) and his companions jet back to the Avengers headquarters - which used to be Stark Tower - to run some tests on the scepter and to plot their next move. While running his tests, Stark goes to Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) with his findings - inside of Loki's scepter is this stone that is purely mechanical...but seems be pulsing and thriving like it's alive. Artificial intelligence...something Stark has been striving to create for his next brain child: Ultron. Stark has had this idea to create an Iron Man-like ally for the Avengers that can think and fight on its own accord, this being has been named Ultron, but he hasn't been able to break ground with it. Utilizing this stone, maybe Stark can begin work on Ultron so he plugs his super computer Jarvis (voiced by Paul Bettany) into this stone to run tests and see if creating Ultron is even possible. Later that evening, while hosting a party at the Avengers headquarters, a jolty leaking robot comes creaking into the room spewing oil and ranting about saving the world by destroying humans ... this ... this is Ultron! But not the Ultron that Stark had imagined.

You made a bad thing! Bad Stark, bad!!

This robot spewing oil all over the floor ranting about needing to save the world, but also needing to destroy humans in order to do so - not needing this kind of madness in their ranks, the Avengers come together and take him down...but this hokey version of Ultron is not defeated. Because he is an artificial intelligence Ultron escapes into the Internet and vanishes...and he takes down Jarvis with him. With no time to waste, Stark jumps into action alongside Captain America (Chris Evans) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) to track down Ultron before he pops up somewhere else...escaping inside of the Internet is a pretty large hiding spot. But they aren't quick enough and their worst fears come to fruition: Ultron (voiced by James Spader) has sprung up again and he's built himself a brand new body. He is also joining forces with the twins that the Avengers discovered in Sokovia - they plan to take down the Avengers together. So now it's up to Iron Man, Thor, The Incredible Hulk, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Captain America, and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) to not only save the world from this crazy smart/strong Ultron...they also have to work together to save themselves from Ultron too!

GO AVENGERS!!!

This was everything I wanted in the newest Avengers movie!! I've heard some people complain that it was too much like the first movie and had a really flimsy plot...did we even watch the same movie?? Like all superhero movies, the hero goes against the bad guy and kicks his butt - that is exactly what happened in the Avengers! There are robots everywhere, explosions, crazy action sequences...pure jaw-dropping awesomeness! But I do have an issue. What is up with Black Widow falling in love with The Hulk??? From what I've been told and read, this is not a thing in the comics...why was it necessary?? It felt like such a cumbersome addition to the movie and I am not a fan of the whole forced romance thing - shame on you writers! Otherwise, I felt like everything was superb and I am more than excited for the next movie in the series - the ending teaser scene before the credits made me squeal!! Fans of the Marvel movies are going to go bonkers over this newest installment, and seeing it in theaters was the best ever - don't miss it!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Mad Max: Fury Road


After wadding through the highs and lows of the Mad Max franchise the blessed day has finally come! Mad Max: Fury Road is finally in theaters and I met up with a group of friends to see it in theaters on opening night. I don't have much else to say leading into this post other than this movie has been well worth the wait for all those Mad Max fans who have been itching since George Miller started concocting the idea for this movie back in 1998! So let's kick this bad boy into high gear!

His name is Max. His world is fire. And blood. After the Australian Outback was laid to waste by nuclear war, the surviving people came other to form tribes in order to survive in this post-Apocalyptic wasteland. But some people did not join tribes and just roam the deserts in their hot rods, scavenging gasoline wherever they can find it. Max (Tom Hardy) is one of those men. But today, Max's luck has run out. His path crosses with those of a gang of War Boys - footmen from a nearby tribe that specializes in breeding soldiers - and he is captured. Once in captivity, Max is attached to a sickly War Boy named Nux (Nicholas Hoult) and used as a live blood bag. Max tries furiously to escape but to no avail, wherever Nux goes Max must go. And today they're going on a manhunt!

DON'T LET GO!!

The leader of this tribe, a man named Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne - yes, the man who played Toecutter in the first Mad Max movie!), controls everything that happens in his town. He controls the flow of water, he controls the distribution of gasoline..but every so often he needs to make supply runs to neighboring tribes who deal in fuel refining and bullet manufacturing. Today Immortan Joe is sending out his Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) in a large War Rig to exchange breasts milk from the breeding mothers for gasoline, she drives out into the barren landscape with a small battalion to keep the truck safe...and then she veers off course. Furiosa has actually kidnapped the youngest and most prized of Immortan Joe's wives and is planning to deliver them to freedom - but Immortan Joe has caught onto her plan, and he rallies his War Boys to bring her back. And Nux is one of the lucky boys set out to retrieve Furiosa and her War Rig - which means Max is along for the ride!

WAR BOYS ROLL OUT!

Racing along the desert, skirting in and out of canyons and enraged neighboring tribes, Furiosa manages to outrun most of the retrieval party but not before totaling Max and Nux's hot rod. Still alive, but chained together, Max drags Nux to the parked War Rig where he learns about Furiosa's plan. With only the need to survive on his mind, Max jumps into the Rig and prepares to speed away...but Furiosa has rewired the truck so only she knows how to start it up. With no choice, Max joins Furiosa and the wives in their quest for Furiosa's homeland which they call The Green Place - a land where the women can thrive and grow and become independant of Immortan Joe and his disgusting cruelty. But the ride will not be easy - Immortan Joe is still on their trail and he's teamed up with neighboring tribes to increase their fire power. Can Furiosa and Max out ride the retrieval party and deliver the wives to freedom? Or are they on a death mission? Foot to the floor, there's no stopping now!!

"WITNESS!!"

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! THIS MOVIE!!!!!! I feel exactly like someone opened my brain, picked out all the things I like about a movie and just mashed it all together!! For once, a movie stands up to its preview!! This 4th Mad Max movie is completely amazing, my mouth was hanging open in shock and awe basically the entire time! The big rigs and hot rods in this movie are insanely cool, the action just never stops - this movie is basically 90% action!! And the story is pretty decent - it's awesome being able to see a modern movie with women in it that is neither highly sexualized or overly feminist and flashy, they just exist alongside the men which is awesome. I was surprised that Max wasn't really a huge focus in this movie, but I was pretty okay with this. The biggest focus in this movie was the action - which was really awesome! Basically, if you're a fan of the last 20 minutes of The Road Warrior you will love this ENTIRE movie! And keep your eyes peeled for the little homages to all the Mad Max movies past - it's pretty cool how everything tied in together.

If you're not 9000% jazzed by this trailer, check your pulse!! 
And go see Mad Max: Fury Road while it's in theaters now!!

Friday, May 15, 2015

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome


And here it is! I have reached the trifectal moment! 3 Mad Max movies in 3 days, with the fourth to be watched tonight alongside the Zorch Radio crew - if you're in the Seattle area, you should come see it with us! So, to give a short run down on my feelings on Mad Max thus far: Mad Max was a bit of a bummer, I couldn't get into it at all. Road Warrior was INSANELY epic and I could NOT get enough! And now, I've reached Beyond Thunderdome. After Road Warrior I was really excited because it felt like Mad Max had turned a new leaf and became amazing - and how could Beyond Thunderdome not be epic? It has Tina Turner in it!! But..it fell sort of flat for me...let me explain:

When we last left Max (Mel Gibson) in Road Warrior, he had successfully helped the tribe of oil refining desert dwellers get their 2,000 gallons of gasoline safely out of the clutches of an evil biker gang...and now he is on his own again. Time has passed and our story opens with Max travelling the desert landscape on a broken down car being pulled by a team of camels when out of the sky, a crazed pilot (Bruce Spence) dive-bombs Max's caravan and knocks him from his perch. And without hesitation the crazed pilot commandeers his camels and car and takes them to the closest city; Barter Town. Once in the town, all of Max's things go up for auction...and he has no money or way to get them back. He approaches a fat man (Frank Thring) who seems to be in charge of most of the bartering happening in the town and demands his things back, but the man only asks what Max has to trade. Max may not have things, but he does have skills - he's a strong man and a good fighter, maybe that is worth something. And that fat man takes him to a woman who can use his talents.

Is one of your talents growing a sick mullet Max? Because DAYUUUM!

Aunty Entity (Tina Turner) is the Queen of Barter Town, she rules the entire city with an iron fist. But lately, one of her subjects has gotten too big for his britches. The special thing about Barter Town is that it is powered by a crude type of fuel called methane which is refined from pig manure - below the ground of the entire city is basically just a large pig farm where men work shoveling the manure into refiners and processing it into fuel, and it's the man who runs the refinery that needs to be knocked down a peg or two. A shrimpy but brilliant Midget named Master (Angelo Rossitto) is the brains behind the refinery, and he is carried around by a brawny masked man named Blaster (Paul Larsson) - together they are Master Blaster and without them Barter Town would have no power. So Aunty decides that she will have Max act as a worker in the refinery and he will pick a fight with Master Blaster, and the only way to settle the dispute is going to be in the Thunderdome.

TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVES!!!

The Thunderdome is a large iron cage set up in the center of Barter Town where all fights between men are settled. Various weapons are strewn about the Thunderdome and there are no rules in the Thunderdome, the only thing the disputers need to adhere to is the fact that Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves. And just like clockwork, Max is sent into the refinery and picks a fight with Master Blaster with amazing ease. The two men are sent into the Thunderdome, and if Max wins he will not only escape with his life but he will also be given his belongings and camels back. But not everything goes well within the Dome. Because only two men will enter, Max is going to battle Blaster and the fight gets gritty. But at the last second, Max overpowers Blaster and throws him to the ground...but he cannot kill him. After kicking off his helmet, Max sees that Blaster is a handicapped and disabled...he cannot kill him. And because Max has broken the law of the Thunderdome he is banished from Barter Town and sent into the desert on horseback to die. But he is rescued by the most unlikely hero.

Look at Max's face! He looked like he'd rather still
be in the desert!  Bahahaaa!!!!!

After passing out from dehydration and exhaustion, Max wakes up in a tropical oasis surrounded by children ranging from very young to teenagers. What is this place? It turns out that all of these children are survivors from a horrific plane crash that occurred in the desert. Their parents left them safely behind while they went onward to find a town to help rescue them...but ages have passed and their parents never returned. But these children see Max as a beacon of hope - he's a grown up, he can help lead them to a city and find their families!Max refuses to take the children to civilization since the nearest town is Barter Town - that horrible place...but when a group of the children decide to venture out on their own regardless of Max's warning, he knows he has to intervene and help. But these children need to go somewhere else...how can Max pass them off onto someone else and still deliver them unto their promised land nicknamed "Tomorrow-morrow Land"? And that's when Max decides that they need a little help from a crazy pilot and a smart midget...

Watch it Max, Aunty Entity won't let your plan go down that easily!

I feel like this movie had insane potential to be outstandingly amazing...and it just shot itself in the foot. The beginning is awesome - the post-apocalyptic feel is still very present and the characters are amazing. I really loved Tina Turner in this movie, she was an evil goddess! And the Thunderdome concept is COOL!! Who doesn't love intense weapon fueled death matches between brawny men trapped inside an iron cage?? But then the story added kids into the mix and the whole thing flopped! I wanted war and battle and betrayal and blood!! And while I got some of that in the beginning...it just morphed into a dystopian version of Peter Pan. Yuck. And from there the movie just tapers off into lameness. Even more yuck! But this is not a horrible movie, by no means is it anywhere as horrible as the first Mad Max. And yet it didn't rise up to the amazingness that was Road Warrior.

It's been a fun journey, but I'm ready to see what Tom Hardy has
to offer the franchise now!

And there you have it! 3 days worth of Mad Max before the big #4 drops into theaters! Expect my review on Fury Road within the next couple of days - my sources in New York tell me that this movie is an insane action-epic. Keep your fingers crossed, and hope for the best!

For those of you who bought your tickets, can't wait to see you 
tomorrow night! For those who haven't...the show is sold out....but let's meet up
for a separate screening!